I didn't mean to slip into these patterns that haven't blessed. I simply slid into them mostly because of stress and an empty nest. It happened so slowly I hardly realized. But that ugly rut finally took a toll on my life.
One of the ruts I fell into was isolation.
Not having the consumption of teenagers' schedules dictating my life and demanding I get out, I didn't. Granted, the new "empty nest" season of rest and silence for most women is often lovely. It just wasn't for me—not in combination with other goings on in my life. The enemy saw a wonderful opportunity to take advantage of me and, boy, did he.
Too much time to think. Too much time to live in my own head.
The second rut I fell into was reading entirely too much.
Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with reading. But never turning your mind off is another matter altogether. It's not good. Especially when one already struggles with insomnia. Keeping the light from your iPad in your face constantly is not good for the brain or our nervous system. Trust me. I know.
Those two areas, honestly, became a toxic cocktail to my soul.
The thing is; life is meant to be lived, not just read about in the pages of a book. Furthermore, we are better people for the company we keep. As iron sharpens iron, our friendships are God's gift to us. We're not meant to exist constantly alone. A soul needs some good-hearted laughter, telling each other stories and enjoying each other's people—a fresh breather.
This reminds me of the time my husband, Erin, stayed in the hospital for a few days. He had the most interesting roommate who—it felt like—hollered at the nurse constantly, "Nurse! Nurse! I need a breather!" What he wanted was to go downstairs to smoke. It was ridiculously hilarious.
I can’t say I’ve needed to go downstairs to smoke. But I've needed another kind of breather.
Sometimes we just gotta say, "Lord! Lord! I need a breather!"
I'd love to hear how you might need a breather?